I've been having crazy dreams. Insight would be appreciated.

First I had these two dreams about Oprah. I don't watch Oprah so I don't know why I had a dream about the Diva, Big Jay (whom I've seen ONCE since high school), and me at a birthday party with her. It was just the four of us and we had to climb this really steep staircase that was more like a ladder than stairs. There were no railings and no sides. We were all fairly certain we would fall. Pretty freaky.

Two or three nights later I had another dream where I was hanging with Oprah. I don't remember exactly what happened, but it seems that it was just her and I doing something or other. Again, I thought this was odd because I don't watch Oprah.

Then last night I had this really strange dream that defies any and all explanation. I went over it several times in my head because it was so bizzarre.

The kids and I were staying with my mother (shoot me now) while Bear was trying to sell the house. We left the kids at her house and went to some park for something. I ran into Sabu and Moanique there. They were waiting to hear this awesome band that they've gone to see several times. My mother had taken off and said she'd be back in fifteen, so I said I'd listen to a song or two since it was right there by where the car was parked. Plus I had my cell phone so she could call me. So we're sitting around waiting for this band to play, but instead they start showing these pictures of the band on a screen showing how to make brownies. Sabu and Moanique were sitting there going "What the fuck?" We thought this was like a funky intro or something. But then the band members actually came out to give a cooking session on brownies. The entire audience really got into this. Whatever.

So I go back to find my mother. Only about five minutes had passed. I can't find her. The car is gone. Where the hell did she go??? I go for my cell and it's missing. There are cell phones charging all over this crowded park (which in my dream had morphed into some type of bar/restaurant). I can't find mine, so I stole someone else's after about an hour of searching. I call my mom and she says that she just has to deal with Daddy's death in her own way and she taken off with some random guy she ran into at the park before it morphed. They were going off for a weekend trip. So how the hell was I suppose to get home and what the hell is her problem leaving all the kids there alone for so long. Again, she tells me that she has to go off and deal with Daddy's death her own way. Alrighty then.

Then all of a sudden I'm at her house (which was nothing like her house) and I walk out early in the morning to see my insurance agent coming out of her bedroom in satin pajamas. They're all hugging and kissing and being very sexual towards each other in front of me. I'm freaking out because they had just met and she let him spend the night with her while my kids and I are there. PLUS one of my kids could have walked out at any time and seen them acting like this towards each other. They were practically screwing on the kitchen counter top (thankfully I didn't actually see this in my dream or I might have woken up blind, I just saw myself yelling at her thoroughly disgusted). She tells me it's her house and she'll do whatever she damn well feels like. The next night it was a different man (I don't know who this one was). I started getting sick to my stomach and I'm telling Bear that the kids and I have to get the hell out of this place.

Then this giant hole appears in one of the walls and I woke up.

ON ANOTHER NOTE...

In case one of your eyeballs should ever fall out of its socket...

My Eyeball Just Fell Out of Its Socket: What should I do?

Not all popped eyeballs come from head trauma. A few people can luxate their globes on purpose, and certain others get "spontaneous globe luxation" when their eyelids are pushed in the right way. Someone with shallow eye sockets or floppy eyelid syndrome, for example, might pop his eyeballs during a regular eye exam. You can also trigger luxation while putting in your contact lenses, or with a particularly violent sneeze. You might even pop your eyeballs by trying to exhale while keeping your nose and mouth closed (i.e., performing the Valsalva maneuver).

If your eyeballs fall out of their sockets repeatedly, you might be a candidate for a lateral tarsorrhaphy—in which doctors sew up your eyelids part of the way to keep them from opening too wide. You could also learn the following technique for popping your eye back in yourself: First direct your gaze downward. Now pinch and pull your upper eyelid with the thumb and index finger of one hand. Lay a finger from your other hand on the top part of your luxated eyeball, taking care to press only on the insensitive white part. While you continue to hold your eyelid up, push your eyeball gently down and back at the same time until it's part of the way in. Then try to look upwards; if everything goes right your eyeball will rotate under the upper lid and back into its socket.

Just thought that might come in handy for one of you folks someday...