Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Mice, Mousetraps and my Defective Cat

Ralph the Mouse was a field mouse that took up residence in the boys' bedroom upstairs. He use to sniff my eldest son's toes at night sometimes. Last night I found out about Ralph. Ralph the Mouse is now dead. No more motorcycle rides for Ralph. He met his demise in a wooden mouse trap baited with peanut butter. I took his body out of the trap and flung him into the woods by his tail. Touching dead mice doesn't bother me. I'm sure he'll be eaten by morning. Then I reset the trap just in case Ralph has family here.

I would not have had to been the bad guy who killed Ralph the Mouse if the Defective Cat would catch mice instead of watching them run by. That is why I got a cat, to catch the field mice that try to move in my house. But my cat is defective. She prefers to jump up on my countertop, rip open the bread, and eat the the crust. She likes bread. She is stupid.

And now, I am a mouse killer.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Friday, January 19, 2007

We have been sick.

My baby girl had fevers of 104.7 and 104.9. Those were fun. The boys never went about 103.7. They're fine now. But I've also been sick. I'm hacking up green globs of slime. What doesn't come up after boughts of coughing and hacking comes out my nose. It's been going on for a week. Now I blow my nose and there are globs of slime mixed with pools of blood from the broken blood vessels in my sinuses. Sometimes it's all just bloody and slimey. It's truly nasty.

And I had to share.

I'm taking a antihistamine ever 12 hours, or sooner if I think I need it. The directions say every 24 hours, but I need the green slime to dry up and go away. I may be damaging my liver, but I must rid myself of the slime. It's nasty.

Sudafed doesn't work. I went to the pharmacy window and showed them my ID, like a comman criminal, so the government can keep track of how much I purchase. They want to make sure I'm not using it for crystal meth and block me from purchasing more than two packages a month. Screw the government! They use bleach in crystal meth as well, but I don't have to show my ID for that now am I told that I can only have two bottles a month. I have a house full of sick people. We. Need. Drugs.

Sudafed isn't working anyway. Nyquil appears to be the magic cure. LONG LIVE NYQUIL!!!! And I take it every six hours like the package says, day and night, because it helps me breath.

I should come up with some way to make something illegal out of Nyquil.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Long time, no personal blogging. I know, and I apologize. It was nice coming up and finding accumulated comments from the last week or so. Hope you all had a LOVELY holiday season!

Anyone ever see that movie Mousehunt? Well, I have a relative to that mouse in my laundry room. It's not evil, just smart. I've set several traps and the little guy keeps setting them off and then stealing the bait and escaping unscathed.

We have a cat.

She's stupid.

She WATCHES the mouse instead of CATCHING the mouse.

So I have this little brown field mouse (cute actually) living in my laundry room leaving little mouse droppings along the baseboards. Such fun.

In the news...Paris Hilton ran out of gas on the side of the road. She "forgot" she needed gas. She's never pumped gas in her life. Do you think she knows what an idiot she is, or is she truly just THAT stupid? I mean REALLY. She borders on retarded. In no way is that meant as an insult to other retarded people. It's just that, WOW, could this girl survive on her own? I know that there are girls that are spoiled, like Nicole Richie. But something inside tells me that Nicole has it inside her to steel herself up and survive...if she can remember to eat. But Paris, I think she'd die of dehydration trying to figure out how to get water out of a lake.

She does have one talent, she knows how to have sex...with anyone....on videotape. Her parents must be so proud.

Gators won the National Championship! Word up, BEAR!

We are expecting again. No, not me, my dog. You see, my husband's mixed breed mutt that was dumped at the barn knocked up my BEAUTIFUL pure-bred with papers, whose puppies are worth $1,000 each. Now her puppies are worthless and I'll have to BEG people to take them. I was doing really well at keeping them apart because I knew she was going into heat soon. Unfortunately one of the kids let them out at the same time and I found them locked up on my back porch. Her bleeding stopped immediately, which means it probably took and we are probably going to have puppies.

I'm. Keeping. One. Of. Them.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

So today is the first day of my son no longer attending public school. Tomorrow we're suppose to go check out the private school around the corner. With a $330 curriculum fee and $265/month tuition, I'm thinking that the chances of his homeschooling are pretty damned high. So here's my delima: Who the hell starts homeschooling in the middle of the year??? I pretty much will have to start with day #1 since we use a different curriculum which builds on each previous unit.

Sounds like fun.

To be totally honest, I've grown accustomed to having my day pretty much to myself, asside from the two hours I spend doing K with my youngest. Now my days will be dictated by homeschooling again. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoyed teaching my children at home, but having had the taste of freedom, it's a bit harder to get back to.

Of course sending him to private school has it's issues as well. For example, there's no bus. That means that I have to drop him off and pick him up every day. I won't be able to spend the day in my PJ's and I won't be able to run a little long on my afternoon errands because there's no bus dropping him off at the end of the street anymore.

And I've been told that these people can be a bit religiously fanatical. I can deal with that I guess.

I just hope that he doesn't go to school and start using the "F", "A" or "B" words which he's been saying around his younger brothers. Maybe we'll just say he has Terrets as well and can't help it.

I wish I had never put my children in public school at all (except for the eldest who wants to attend the regular high school). It's a lot easier to keep on doing than it is to stop and then restart. Seriously, I've no idea how to start homeschooling in the middle of the year like this.

I need to think...

and that isn't exactly my forte...