I would like to know G-d's purpose for chiggers. Anyone? I have them...on the sides of my breasts and under my breasts. I suppose that's better than my crotch.

OH! Like the sunburn? Ain't it purdy??? Just another reason for me to play with my own tits...I mean scratch my breasts uncontrollably. I'm just really grateful that I chose to go to the lake to sunbath instead of laying out topless in my backyard like I had considered.

For those who are cocking your head sideways in confused, that is my cleavage. I know that many of you are use to the purky breasts of women who have not had children or the purky breasts of women who have been sucked, tucked and stuffed. I do not fall into either of those categories. My once "bodacious ta-ta's" (as they were called in high school) have sustained five little lives for a combined six years of breast feeding. That makes them bodacious in a different kind a way...a way that says purky breasts are NOT the end all.

And of course I don't have to worry about a stray needle popping one of them either.

Anyone remember those old Idaho Potato commercials? Well, for some reason, "Heigh-ho, I'm from Idaho!" popped into my head a few minutes ago. Then I happened to think how poorly the same one-liner would go over today: "Hey, Ho! I'm from Idaho!" First, calling people a "Ho" these days isn't too bright. Second, who gives a rat's ass where you're from? Just a random thought from a chigger ridden, sun baked brain.

My dog has gas. I. Think. I. Might. Get. Sick.