HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

She's drunk as a skunk and having a very vocal pity party by herself in my living room cursing, swearing, "Oh pity me. I've failed at everything. I'm embarrassing my daughter again. I've failed everything in my life except as a grandmother, and I'm sure I'll fail at that too. Maybe *Krystal will be my one success."

Blah...blah...blah...

She trying the emotional blackmail and it isn't working. I'm ignoring her.

For the record...Bear doesn't care what the worse fucking time of day is for my Mother. But for some reason, unknown to either of us, she feels the need to tell him all about it while he's trying to watch a bowl game after a long day at the office.

This is after spending a good five minutes telling him all about her dog's fucking antics. The man just wants to fall asleep watching the college holiday bowl game between the Oregon Ducks and the Oklahoma Sooners. Let the man BE already.

Did I mention that she's going to be here until the fifth of January?

I had to change my blog address. My mother found the other one while snooping on my computer in my bedroom.

SHIT!

So I've moved here. I hope y'all found me okay. I will be moving a few of my most recent posts here to give background on the visit from my Mother (for those poor souls who've missed out). Unfortunately, I am unable to bring over any comments that have been made.

So she asked me..., "Does my being here stress you out?" Oh wow...how to answer...how to answer. So I tell her the truth. Yes. Having any extra body in the house for an extended period of time stresses me out. I am a hermit. I like my kids in bed at 8:00 and Bear and I watching TV or on the computer in basic silence. I've had enough noise for the day. I need to unwind. Nothing personal. It's just the extra body when I'm already stretched to my personal limits with my kids and responsibilities as it is.I thought that it would be wise to leave out the part where I can't dance for my husband or run around in my underwear out.

Did I do well?

Because it's MY HOUSE and I like candles so STOP BLOWING THEM OUT!

It's the little things that make me want to kill. Like when I say that the doctor's want my one son to drink only skim milk because of his weight and she buys 2% because she likes it better, or the white bread that she continues to buy even though I've repeatedly said that I don't like my children to eat white bread.

Of course she is doing all of the laundry and has been cleaning the kitchen. I'm not saying that I don't appreciate that stuff. It's just that I can do that. My house may not be spotless, but when it's not the holidays and I'm not fighting bronchitis, I keep up with the house pretty well. Generally around the holidays it goes to crap.

Then again, I like to clean the house in my underwear at ten or eleven while the kids are in bed. I can't do that because I don't like to run around in my underwear in front of anyone except my Bear.

I'm not leaving January 2nd. I had a break down at Walgreen's around the corner. A friend found me a shaking sobbing mess. This is what I've been reduced to. I am normally a strong person who can take it. But last night I fell apart.

Huh.

So anyway, I'm here for a couple more weeks. I need to recover from a certain too long visit. You know, it really isn't about WHO is visiting. The simple truth is that "Guest, like fish, smell after three days."

Especially when you can't get laid.

I need to get laid.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!!! I got everything I wanted, including this adorable red shiney jewelry box with a note inside that read, "Redeem for one professionally installed dancing pole." YIPPIE!!!

My mother has been here since Dec 20th. Someone shoot me...PLEASE! I love her, but I can't relax. I like to run around the house in my panties after the kids are in bed. Can't do that with her here. I like to dance for Bear a few times a week in the living room. Can't do that with her here. Neither of us can relax enough for sex BECAUSE SHE'S HERE and she's watching TV on the other side of the wall to our bedroom.

I haven't had sex in a week!

She's driving with us up North to the new house. She will be staying the night there with us to drive Bear to the airport. BEAR AND I WON'T BE SEEING EACH OTHER FOR THREE WEEKS AFTER THAT AND WE WON'T BE ABLE TO HAVE SEX BEFORE HAND...BECAUSE SHE'LL BE THERE!!!!

Someone just fucking shoot me. Just fucking shoot me NOW! It's going to be forty days without sex for me BECAUSE SHE'S HERE AND THERE AND ALL OVER THE PLACE.

FUCK.

Just shoot me now.

Or send vibrators. I've never had one. Think I might need one. I might need more than one. Do they make male blow up dolls?

Dear Santa,

I've been very naughty. Please bring me a pole to install in my bedroom at the new house so I may continue in this manner.

Krystal

I took a pole dancing class yesterday with the Diva and Jane. I had soooo much fun! Also, I am now a proud owner of a Diva original. It's so cool and Bear loves it!!!

Bear and I took the kids out to find a Christmas tree tonight. There were poles all over. They were really sturdy. When we were in the far corner and the people working there weren't looking, I showed Bear how well I could use a pole. Showed him twice actually.

Dear Santa,

Please bring my wife the pole she asked for.

PLEASE!!!

Bear