I may now be found HERE.

I will leave this blog and link for those who get lost... ;)

Okay, this is absolutely HILLARIOUS!! The best part is that Hilton is there to hear it first hand.

THANK-YOU, ALL, for the comments of support on the changing attitude of my writing, thoughts, and blog. It's good to know that I'm not the only one evolving and changing. Change is a good thing. Change is good.

I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT pretty hard the last few weeks. I've had enough of the sitting around eating of the winter, and had to get out there and move it some. My long time readers know that I use to be obese. I researched and became my own nutritionalist and trainer. I went from a tight 18W/20 to a nice fitting 5/6. I've read pretty much every "diet" out there. Guess what! They all say the same thing, "Eat right and exercise." Seriously, that's all they're about. But that's a sideline...

I've been working really hard. I jog up the steap hill that I live on over and over again until my thighs, calves, and butt burn. Then I do it again for good measure. I jog 50-60 minutes every day (except Sunday...that's my day off). I work my abs hard. I do crunches and criss-scrosses and several other moves until it feels like I've a dang blowtorch on my stomach. Then I push just a little harder...just a few more...until I quite litterally can not get another out.

For all of this hard work, I should be sore in the morning. RIGHT? I need to feel sore. I need to know that I'm pushing hard enough and that's how I measure it, by how sore I am in the morning. I've even tried working out twice in one day.

Nothing.

I have lost nearly half of my winter weight gain, and my clothes are fitting better, but I NEED the pain. I WANT the pain. I loose motivation without the pain.

I DESERVE THE FREAKING PAIN!!!

Planted he garden this morning. :)

The kids made me breakfast this morning. How sweet the thought, truly sweet.

I can't eat in the morning. I have to be up for a few hours before I can eat. I like to do my aerobics and putz around. Then I have breakfast, which I drink (tofu, frozen berries, grapefruit juice, protien powder blended wonderfully together).

Just looking at the healthy breakfast that they had put together for me (Fiber One cereal, skim milk, apple, small piece of toast from homemade bread), made me want to vomit. But being the good mother that I am, I ate the cereal and toast (I just couldn't handle the apple at the moment) even though I had been planning on working out. Of course now I can't work out because I feel like I'm going to hurl.

I think if I did hurled I'd feel a great deal better.

I want THIS SHIRT in pink, size large.

I should be out jogging right now. My Bear was so kind as to give me a little extra money so I could get some good running shoes. After two knee surgeries, it would be stupid to not take the precaussion. I also run with a brace on my left knee WHICH has bothered me since I was a kid. Even surgery didn't help that one.

My eldest is in D.C. with a group of eighth graders. That includes 8th grade girls with boobs that are way too big wearing shirts that are way too small and pants that they roll down so low you KNOW they had to shave. And their mothers will wonder why they're pregnant at 15.

We have our first hatchlings here at the farm. They're so cute, but I can't get a picture because the mamma hen pecks me when I pull her nest out to look at them. I'll get you pictures when she pushes them out of the nest in another week.

We are also babysitting a baby goat this weekend. He has to be bottle fed three times a day. It's so much fun!!! That I have pictures of and will post later.

I'm having thoughts about my blog. You see, when I started "The True Bitch Inside" I was angry at the world, angry at God, and had a chip on my shoulder the size of Gilbrata. That is no longer the case. I still have pockets of anger that I'm sure I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life, but I no longer wish to make anger the center point of my life. I don't want to be known for that. I don't think that I want to be Krystal the Bitch any more.

So I sit and ponder what to do with this blog.

Oh, and happy June!