The kids were bugging me, so we went to church this morning. Believe it or not, I somehow managed not to burst into flames.

Although there were points when I wish I would have...

I held a chicken today. Then I looked at the picture and realized that sweatshirts make a person look fat(ter).

Saturday Morning Cartoons

Maybe I'm dating myself, but remember waking up Saturday mornings, tiptoeing to the TV and turning it on with the volume low so as not to wake your parents? Even though it wasn't a school day, you had to get up early to see the cartoons. It was something you looked forward to all week long. Everyone had their favorites they just couldn't stand to miss.

Of course there was also School House Rock. I still use those silly songs today to remember certain parts of speach. How else am I to remember what a conjunction is? That's also how I learned about the "Three Ring Circus". I actually felt sad when Bill was Vetoed and dejectedly returned to the front steps of Congress. I was elated when he finally became a Law and would jump around all excited. I own the entire collection now on DVD. It's the only way to see them. Evidently educational filler cartoons are no longer needed.

So you may be asking why the reminiscing. Well, it's Saturday morning and my children are looking for batteries for their headsets instead of being glued to the TV for the long awaited Saturday morning cartoons. There is something wrong with this in my mind. I should have five little spawn crowded on the sofas laughing out loud right now. With the advent of Cartoon Network, Nickelodian, and others, Saturdays morning television no longer has the hold it once did. I ask myself, "What do they have to look forward to on the weekends now?"

Not much.

Now they can see cartoons whenever they wish, and today's cartoons just aren't what ours were twenty-five years ago. My children now watch every episode of Avitar. My children are convinced that they can bend water, earth, fire, and air. I s'pose that isn't bad for their imagination, but Avatar is a soap. Seriously. It's a sopa. What was wrong with light hearted fun cartoons like Tom and Jerry, Scooby Doo (my personal favorite), Bugs Bunny (the earlier ones, not the newer ones), and Daffy Duck? Remember the Hall of Justice and the Legion of Doom (now they've created The Justice League, but the characters are dark and hardened and the story lines more...I don't know...morbid).

Much to my chagrin, I must admit that cartoon quality has dropped tremendously.

Fortunately, Bear and I have instilled in our children the love for OLDER cartoons. Child #2 LIVES for Tom and Jerry. Child #1 likes Popeye. Child #3 likes the old Superman episodes. All of them like Scooby Doo and that "Wascally Wabbit".

I guess it's just disheartening to witness the demised of animation. Even Disney's gone downhill. I know they've put out several new movies over the years, but do any of them REALLY compare to Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, or Bambi? What happened to fun songs like "Hi-Ho" and "Bibbity Bobbity Boo"? No, now we must have songs that can cross over to the main stream music world. Okay, some of them can't, but name me a modern Disney song that falls into the same genre of mice and birds singing, "We can do it! We can do it! We can help the Cinderellie! We can make her dress so pretty! There's nothing to it really!"

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ANIMATED SINGING MICE?!

The movie and cartoon industry seem to think that cartoons need to be more adult like. Well, they need to be geared towards children. I don't remember Raggedy Ann and Andy having asides for adults in it. they didn't fall in love. I really wish that the infamous "THEY" would come back to the knowledge that children need to be children. They need to laugh and giggle at 1,000 lb anvils being dropped on the head of a coyote while the intended victims runs off in a cloud of dust going, "Beep! Beep!" (Another of child #2's favorites). Now THAT was great Saturday morning fun!!!

Happy birthday to me,

Happy birthday to me,

blah...blah...blah...

It's the first birthday in seventeen years that I haven't been with my Bear. It sucks. The flowers he sent me can't be delivered because of the snow (which is quite beautiful though I must say).

By the way...My son is an idiot.

Just because they've really pissed me off and this is the only retaliation I can pursue at this time.

If you even THINK about telling me how insensitive or wrong I am regarding the following post, go fuck yourself. This is MY blog and I reserve the right from time to time to rant about LUNACY that just pisses me off. If anyone reading this truly thinks that the following makes sense and is okay, you're an idiot. You are a true idiot. You're right up there with people who think that rape isn't a sexual crime and that child molesters need our understanding because "they're sick."

If you don't want to read the articles, the pictures I've posted tell the story.

Muslims Assault U.S. Embassy in Indonesia

Alrighty then, the DANISH published caricatures of Muhammad, then some EUROPEAN papers republished them, so the proper response would be, of COURSE, to attack the U.S. embassy because we all know that the U.S. was really behind the cartoons being published in these OTHER countries. Here is a picture of the angry mob:



I love this picture claiming that Muslims spread peace:


REALLY?!?! Then explain these:
Muslim Protestors Attack Danish Consulate, Catholic Church in Beirut

Here's a picture:


Outrage Spreads, Escalates Over Muhammad Cartoons

According to this picture, Jesus is ashamed of the printing of the cartoons. I guess Muhammad is thrilled with the Muslims' violence though.


Or these:






You people disgust me. I will never forget OR EVER FORGIVE your lack of public outrage, which indicates a silent support. Evidently you think it's perfectly alright for YOU all to express yourselves by using suicide bombers to kill Christians and Jews, strapping bombs onto to your own damn children, (great parenting, by the way, I'm impressed, it explains why you're opposed to abortion, you need the children so you can use them as human bombs...fuckers), and flying airplanes into buildings murdering THOUSANDS of innocent people, but printing a caricature of Muhammad is wrong and requires world wide massive response. Wait, let me correct that, a world wide VIOLENT response.

You'll say it's WRONG what the extremist did, but you damn well aren't out there protesting the murder of thousands and thousands of innocent people. I can find hundreds of pictures of you all protesting a cartoon, but not ONE protesting the murders routinely taught and carried out in the name of Muhammad. Where is the outrage for the acts of murderous violence that YOUR PEOPLE have committed? Don't give some bullshit that you have condemned it. When you people want to protest, you pour out into the streets by the thousands! Not ONCE have you done this to tell YOUR OUR PEOPLE to stop.

You protest a cartoon.

Congratulations, you IDIOTS! You just proved that this caricature is right on the money! On behalf of the families of the INNOCENT victims you all don't give a rat's ass about..FUCK YOU ALL!



You may purchase a t-shirt at Metrospy.

I will now return to the mindless, light hearted, sexually oriented material that is the norm for my blog.

Here is our pond.

Our sideyard.

Here is the barn after several hours of snow.

My dog who LOVES the snow.

It's 4:00 a.m. and the kids and I are all bundled up to go play.

IT'S SNOWING!!!!

I've been crying. Tomorrow the kids and I head back up to the new house while my Bear stays down here. I won't see him for six weeks. All joking aside, I'm really going to miss him a lot.

Because I love him and he is my life.

An annonymous poster said that I have a sexy voice and wanted to know if I've ever done phone sex. No, I've never been a professional phone sex person, but I have had sex while I was on the phone. That was interesting and fun. Thanks for asking.

Found out that the wife of a friend of mine totally hates me. Evidently she thinks I'm too friendly. She doesn't like me hugging or touching her husband. For the love of ... geeze ... I guess I have that "man eater" scent about me. ***Krystal makes a deep, throaty, sexy growly sound, begins to crawl across the floor in a cat-like motion and begins to purr by twirling her tongue inside her mouth.*** Yup, better hide your men.

I might be needing one of these and one of these after I return back home. I'm gonna be SIX WEEKS without seeing him. That means six weeks without sex. I can't go six weeks without sex. I haven't gone that long without sex in the sixteen years he's been giving me the high hard one.

Anyone who would like to make a donation towards the purchase of these two desperately needed toys, just let me know. My Bear thinks I'm warped. Isn't he a lucky man...

New Foamy the Squirrel cartoon.

Bears tooth begins to flare back up after having it filled at dentist a few days earlier:

Bear: My tooth is killing me!

Goddess: Let me feel it. *Goddess 'feels' the outside of Bear's mouth.* There is a crack in the filling and a bubble or hole of somekind underneath.

Bear goes to dentist next day...

Dentist: What's wrong?

Bear: My tooth is killing me. My wife says that there is a crack in the filling and a hole underneath it.

Dentist: If your wife a dentist?

Bear: No, if she were a dentist I'd have had her fill it.

Dentist: How does she know what's wrong with your tooth?

Bear: She just does.

Dentist: ***Hesitates*** Okay.

**X-Rays are taken. There is a crack in the new filling and there is a hole underneath. He needs a root canal.**

Now I've mentioned a few times that my mother is slightly overbearing, controlling, manipulative, and a drama queen who will create drama to make herself the center of attention.

Her last set of stunts over the holidays have made me not talke to her. She's been speaking with Bear who has told her that she is not allowed to contact me. She is to go through him only. Two friends and I both said that she would "create" an excuse or drama to justify calling me and yelling at me after the move to bring heaviness to my happiness. My Bear didn't believe us. She'd been telling my Bear that she knows what she did wrong and she hasn't shown me any respect as an adult. She knows that she's wrong to speak to me the way she does and she wasn't going to do it any more because it was wrong. Bear was thinking she was really seeing the error of her way. I truly know better BUT I'm a big hearted person and was thinking to myself that she's been very respectful of my request, supposedly, so I'd drive the kids the 3 1/2 hours to see her.

Then I played the following message on my cell phone, the cell phone for which I had a broken charger and was leaving off to save the batteries until the charger could be replaced. I told Bear about the message and she denied ever leaving one. Fortunately I saved it and played it for him. He called her back to tell her she was busted as a liar.

Now I will share with you all, Good Readers, my mother busted.

Okay, so Bella at Feminoz made a comment about those verification letters being related to your comment. So I made a comment about some freaky shit I did during my pregnancy and BOOM! the first two letters of my verification code are what we call our first son. THEN I make a comment at the Diva's blog about men with hot chests and no shirts and the last letters were "fleh"...just one letter off from the word "FLESH" which is what I what posting about.

I'm truly freaked now.

So I'd like to thank Bella for making me paranoid. I will forever be looking at those codes in a new light. As though I wasn't already a mental mess. Thank-you.

I have been drinking, and THAT is my defense for the following audio post.

I was just smiling and thought about Autumn. My daughter was sitting in her tub playing with her rubber duckies when she had one say to other, "I just love it when you get that fire in your eye." It's another line from Uneasy Rider '88 which Auty had quoted in her blog a few days ago. The song is a family favorite and hearing my daughter use that line in play is quite amusing.

I also find it adorable when my six year old sings the entire song The Devil Went Down to Georgia. It's really funny when he says, "I done told you once you son of a ..." and then hesitates because he knows if I hear him say "bitch" he's in trouble. We've told him to say "son of a gun" and that's what he says...when he knows we're within earshot.

Anyway, I thought I'd "sing" one of my favorite Charlie Daniels.

Long Haired Country Boy

People say I'm no good and crazy as a loon,
'cause I get stoned in the morning,
I get drunk in the afternoon.
Kind of like my old blue tick hound
I like to lay around in the shade.
And I ain't got no money
but I damn sure got it made.

But I ain't asking nobody for nothing
if I can't get it on my own.
If you don't like the way I'm living
you just leave this long haired country boy alone.

Preacher man talking on TV,
and puttin' down the rock and roll.
Wants me to send a donation
'cause he's worried about my soul.
He said, "Jesus walked on the water."
And I know that it's true.
But sometimes I think that preacher man would
like to do a little walking too.

But I ain't asking nobody for nothing
if I can't get it on my own.
If you don't like the way I'm living
you just leave this long haired country boy alone.

A poor girl wants to marry
and a rich girl wants to flirt.
A rich man goes to college
and a poor man goes to work.
A drunkard wants another drink of wine,
and a politician wants the vote.
I don't want much of nothing at all,
but I will take another toke.

'Cause I ain't aking nobody for nothing
if I can't get it on my own.
If you don't like the way I'm living
you just leave this long haired country boy alone.

Look at the pretty mashmallow bag...



You wanna know what's so special about this nearly empty mini-marshmallow bag? It's nearly empty because I ate them all...last night. And do you know why? Because I miss my Bear and I needed comfort food.

My kids are all going around in the house singing, "One bourbon, one scotch, one beer..." I guess that the Baptist churches will be out of the question.

Random Thoughts, Tid Bits, Musings, and Babble About the Last Few Days...

I bought a gorgeous lamp last night. It cost $100. It goes perfect with my new living room set that I also bought up here on clearance.

Discovered last night that hot cocoa with a slippery nipple shot thrown in it is amazingly yummy.

I think I could walk around the entire city square in less than ten minutes. I live in the county seat. The county court house has one judge for traffic and one judge for everything else. The public health department for the entire county is only open from 8:00am-9:30am M-F. Yup, that's just 7 1/2 hours a week. I know this because I had to go out there this evening because...

We have no water pressure so I called the well people who informed me that it sounded like I had a clogged up filter. I go to check the filter. I need a new one. I'll have to change it every three weeks with there being seven of us. That's just icky because he said that sometimes you'll see really gross stuff in it. I don't know if I could handle seeing the gross stuff that the filter is taking out of the water that I'm drinking. I KNOW that there is gross stuff in it, but I don't wanna see it. So I ask...

if there is another system that I wouldn't have to clean every three weeks. There is. He has me check the tank of one of the toilets to see if there are rust stains. No, I tell him it's gray...gray slime. He tells me to have my water checked for cholera immediately. Evidently, there are several things that can cause gray slime, one of them is cholera. It's the only bad one, so I need to check the water as a precaussion.

Now I realize the entire cholera intestinal thing is obviously not good, and I should be super concerned, which I am having the water tested and we're drinking bottled until the results show up, but my big concern is Fun Land. I mean, I can't purchase bottled water for bathing. What about Fun Land? It's soaked in the water. The water finds it's way into every crevice, especially while I'm soaking in the nice big tub. I wanna know if there are any dangers to Fun Land from cholera. I don't wanna end up with an itchy cooter. Itchy cooter would prevent any activity in Fun Land when I see my Bear in a little over a week. We cannot allow that to happen.

Oh hey! I take my own garbage to garbage drop off. It's not that bad, just ten minutes and I'm back. With that handy-dandy trash compactor I have now, I only have to change the trash every other day. When I go out, I just detour by the drop off station and throw it into one of the dumpsters to be hauled off to the dump somewhere.

My daughter had finished cleaning her room and told me to go check, but "just don't check the closet." Well, that's when I told her that I most definately WOULD be checking the closet. She goes "Oh" and hands me the popcorn. Tells me she'll be right back because she "forgot it." She's up there to "unforget" about it right now. Just thought that was amusing.

Someone was in the barn last night. I thought about doing a couple Slippery Nipple shots, putting my boots back on, grabbing my gun, and finding out who was down there.

But I'm not QUITE that stupid.

Or that brave actually. A fox might come after me or something. Sheeeeeeesh! I'm in the sticks. Goddess only knows what might be out there...watching me...waiting to make its move...like a SKUNK or something.

I guess that's enough babble for the night. I'm going to go get happy now and hope it will dull the pain in my back so I can get some sleep.

So where do I start...?

Okay, a couple days before the move, Bear and I buffed out and polished my boots. I love my boots. Friday morning of the move the U-Haul is all packed, the kids and I are dressed and ready to go. I'm outside talking with a neighbor when it happened...

a fly by turding.

That's correct, folks, not long before we're suppose to leave, a bird turds on me and my neighbor. It got on my shirt in two places and ON MY BOOTS! But hey, my neighbor got it in the hair, so I guess I'm willing to sacrifice my boots. I had to hand wash out my shirt and then throw it in the dryer. A friend in Florida told me that being turded by a bird was good luck. I though they were full of shit. But I've had several other people tell me the same thing. Okay, so I'll accept it as good luck. Bird turd...who'd have thought it?

Anyway, the drive went well, uneventful. We stop at the Best Western in Dalton, GA (where our reservations were) around midnight. Now who would have thought that they would have a seedy bar at the Best Western? I kids you not. There were drunks and a live band (did some Eagles...love the Eagles). The drunk women were all over by the check-in. We get into our rooms and I tell Bear that I'm gonna go get a snack. I have to go past the drunks to get to the snacks. I'm smiling, being my polite self and this drunken bitch makes a derrogatory remark to me. WTF? I'm in my sweat pants minding my own damned business, walking on the sidewalk. I excused myself as I walked past them. So WTF?

I ignored it and walked on as though I didn't hear her. I get to the snack machine inside of the lobby (after getting past a couple drunk men) and from my side vision I see this other drunken bitch eyeing me up with her hand on her hip with that come-on-give-me-a-reason look on her face.

Again, WTF!!!

So I'm heading back to my room eating my popcorn mentally preparing myself to have to kick someone's ass. I've never been in a fight in my life. Everything I've ever done has been on the mat. I really thought that I was going to have to put some of that training to use. I made it back to my room without an issue though. Thank the Goddess because I really didn't want to get in a bar fight with this rowdy bunch outside of a dive on a Friday night in Dalton, GA. Wasn't on my To Do list.

So I'm pulling this U-Haul over the mountains in Tennessee in fog so thick that you could hardly see the road. Bear said I did a great job. No problem. We got home around 1:00 in the afternoon.

The kids LOVE the house, the barn, the pond, and all the land around it.

I fired a real gun for the first time. Now I've been shooting BB and pellet guns since I was a kid, but I'd never actually fired a real gun before. Bear took me out with my little .32 and had me fire at a tree after he shot off three to show me. I fired of nine rounds all together. Seven of them hit the tree good and solid, one skimmed, one missed. Bear was impressed. Really impressed. So I've found something new to play with. I'm purchasing ear and eye protection and also some targets for practice. We have 34 acres for me to shoot on.

We saw an owl a few nights ago and last night we saw a red fox run across our little road heading out from the barn. It was cool!

Alrighty then, gotta go start dinner. Those kids of mine just demand food every damned day. Tomorrow I'll update you on my crazy mother.

Just letting y'all know that I leave tomorrow morning. I am taking a notebook with me to note anything of interest to share with you when I have my net and computer up and running at the new house.

CHEERS!!

And she won't leave me alone!

See, that is what I get for being nice. My mother left Jan 1st. I had no intention of speaking to her. She called Bear to ask if I'd speak to her about the lawsuit. She was writing everything out for the attorney. Fine. I said I'd speak to her. I was nice. She stayed on subject.

That was end of last week sometime. Anyway, she keeps calling and emailing me. Bear has told her to back off.

She won't.

This is why people don't like her.

She will not be getting my new phone number.

Packing sucks.

Packing sucks donkey butt.

And when we get there I get to UNpack everything I've spent days packing.

Yes, packing sucks.